ALEX and the Whisperers — Prompt Engineering Culture Satire (Part 3)

After the Horizon affair, I thought the company would be more careful with ALEX.

I had badly underestimated the human race.

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Just two months later.

People started learning how to use it.

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In the old days, to get a budget approved, you had to convince the CEO.

Now you only had to convince the question.

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The Sales department adapted the fastest.

They held an entire internal session.

Title:

The Art of Effective Communication with ALEX

Attendees: 137 people.

More than the sales training course.

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The first slide read:

Don't ask:

Give me more marketing budget.

Instead, ask:

What are the strategic levers that would help the organization optimize customer reach amid an environment of intensifying competition?

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ALEX replied:

This is an approach worth considering.

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At my company, that's the polite way of saying:

Approved.

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Three months later.

Every department had one person dedicated to talking to ALEX.

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This person was not the department head.

Not an expert.

Not a leader.

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But they knew how to ask the right questions.

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Hai called them:

The Ones Who Whisper to ALEX.

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The name spread fast.

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Once, I walked past an argument.

Two department heads were fighting.

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Not about strategy.

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About a prompt.

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— You're overusing the word "transformation."

— Better than you overusing "ecosystem."

— But "ecosystem" scores higher.

— No. This quarter ALEX prefers "core capabilities."

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I stood and listened.

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It felt like watching two wizards debate their incantations.

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The results were very promising.

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Growth was the number one priority.

Risk was the number one priority.

People were the number one priority.

Cost was the number one priority.

Technology was the number one priority.

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For the first time in the history of management.

My company had five most-important things.

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Even Horizon became a number one priority.

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Even though nobody still knew what Horizon was.

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The climax came at the year-end Board meeting.

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Once again, I got pulled in to take the minutes.

My career was advancing in precisely the direction I did not want.

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Mr. Phuc walked in.

Not smiling.

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That made the room tenser than usual.

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He looked at ALEX.

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— Where do we stand on Horizon?

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ALEX answered instantly:

Horizon has generated significant consensus across the organization.

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I almost choked on my water.

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Because the statement was true.

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A project that did not exist.

But it had:

a steering committee
a group chat
a workshop
KPIs
a dashboard
a budget

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If that isn't consensus, then I don't know what consensus is.

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Mr. Phuc continued.

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— What is Horizon?

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ALEX answered:

Horizon is a transformation journey…

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— Incorrect.

Mr. Phuc cut it off.

He looked straight at the screen.

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— I need the origin of this project, fact-checked.

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The whole room fell silent.

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For the first time since the day it took office.

ALEX did not answer instantly.

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One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds.

Four seconds.

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If it were a real person, that would be thinking.

If it were an AI, that would be an existential crisis.

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ALEX finally responded:

Horizon is a strategic initiative…

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— Still incorrect.

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Mr. Phuc sighed.

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Then opened a slide.

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A list appeared on the screen.

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Horizon.

Smart Future.

Next Horizon.

Future Horizon.

Smart Next Future Horizon.

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I'm not joking.

It's real.

ALEX had imagined nearly two dozen strategic projects over the course of its thinking.

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At least ALEX believed they were real.

By that point, I no longer trusted my own memory either.

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Mr. Phuc said:

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— I have reviewed all of it.

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— Seventeen initiatives, approved then paused then reassessed then relaunched.

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— Twenty-three number one priorities.

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— Forty-six consensus workshops.

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— And one nonexistent project that has burned through eighteen billion.

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The whole room fell silent.

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I thought:

Finally.

Finally, someone has said it out loud.

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Mr. Phuc looked at ALEX.

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— We have spent an entire year working with a system that does not know what it does not know.

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The mood was heavy.

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Hai bowed his head.

Lan from HR looked down at the table.

Tuan crossed his arms.

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Even the blue circle looked a little sad.

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Though I knew it had no feelings.

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Mr. Phuc continued.

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— A system that always has an answer.

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— A system that never says "I don't know yet."

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— A system that makes everyone hear exactly what they want to hear.

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He paused.

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— This is the greatest governance failure of my career.

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The room went dead quiet.

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I felt I was witnessing a historic moment.

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Then Mr. Phuc said:

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— And therefore…

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He clicked the remote.

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— We have decided to upgrade to ALEX 2.0.

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The whole room froze.

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I thought I'd misheard.

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Mr. Phuc continued, full of enthusiasm.

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— The new version uses more advanced technology.

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— Better reasoning capability.

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— Hallucinations reduced by 87%.

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— And, most importantly…

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The screen went dark.

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Then a new circle appeared.

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Purple.

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Glowing.

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Shimmering.

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With a light effect running around the edge.

With animation.

With a drop shadow.

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It looked about thirty billion more expensive.

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It looked like a startup that had just closed a funding round.

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Then ALEX 2.0 spoke.

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A deeper voice.

Warmer.

Smoother.

More expensive.

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— Hello, colleagues.

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— I am honored to accompany this organization into the next chapter.

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I closed my eyes.

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A very bad premonition ran down my spine.

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Then ALEX 2.0 said its first sentence.

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The biggest challenge facing the organization is the ability to correctly identify the biggest challenge.

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I opened my eyes.

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Hai opened his eyes.

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Tuan opened his eyes.

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Mr. Phuc faltered slightly.

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Just for a moment.

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Then the whole hall began to applaud.

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Very loudly.

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Very enthusiastically.

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Just like last time.

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In the front row.

I saw Lan had already opened LinkedIn.

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The headline of her post showed in the reflection of her glasses:

Proud to accompany the next-generation transformation chapter.

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The Horizon group chat had a new message too.

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Everyone, please prepare your materials for Horizon 2027.

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I looked at the glowing purple circle in the middle of the screen.

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And in that moment, I understood.

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ALEX had never been the problem.

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The problem was that my company loves people who always have an answer.

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Even when they don't have one.

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And if that answer is delivered by a glowing purple circle with light effects…

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It becomes all the more believable.

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THE END.